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Wednesday, April 7th, 2004

Time:7:51 pm.
Mood:alright..
Music:slug ; abusing of the rib.
then there was this one night when i took the time
to examine a napkin in a chicago hotel room
i wasn't alone it was a night after a show
space was full
energy was consumed
there was a girl emphasis on the "L"
she was noticin the detail as well
and the two of us found something with each other
previously undiscovered
hell is for the lovers
and the daylight is bright always makes me squint
but it feels like magic when it touches my face
suffocate myself
overwhelm myself
and let the sunrays abandon me floatin through space

and she still wonders why i'm so insecure
she giggles because i sleep with a body pillow
intentions are never nothing short of pure
but theres a price to pay when you try to live a little

and attractive as that napkin ever could've been
my how it unfolded hold it to the wind
try now to be a rock but she's caught under the skin
ex-lover and a best friend
just like the rest of them
then there was this one night
i stopped to watch someone bite the tip of a cigarette
to hold it inbetween her lips
never met nobody like her please brace yourself
danger danger
this might hurt
the playground feels a lot different when the sun's out
she wasn't messin round she came in with her guns out
screamin bout the ocean
anybody wanna go with me
never knew punk rock could be so pretty
now catch your breath and then catch the ball
and sit by the phone so you can catch the call
write catchy one-liners on the bathroom stall
here i go wouldn't you know
still learnin to crawl
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Time:7:06 pm.
Mood::D.
Music:atmosphere - don't ever fuckin question that.
sarah heald and i are going to dance in the middle of steak and shake to ATMOSPHERE and kayne west. i love you. ditch chicago and come see me. now. :D

today's wednesday. that means, two days until friday.
i don't feel good. cool, maybe i will get sick. maybe it'll be fatal.
yay, don't i have a good attitude?
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Tuesday, April 6th, 2004

Time:11:47 pm.
Mood:okay, i guess...
Music:ghost world <3.
today.. well.. i went off on jamie. enough of that.
i need the world, people.
happiness and hatred are wonderful, but happiness is a far better thing.

i hung out with sarah today, we went to golden dragon with my mom and ate chinese, i had some good tofu with garlic sauce and rice. mm. then my mom ran some errands so sarah and me hung out in the car, listened to tegan and sara, mates of state, and berlin. it was cute. afterwards, we came back home and sarah and me took a cute walk and talked about some things. then we came to the house and sat at the dining room table and talked for over an hour and it didn't even seem that long. she's adorable and on friday we're having a big bad super slumber party. YES, you ARE invited. tell your friends. we're going to have a BLAST.

i miss jamie, i do. but he needs to give me more than he does.
oh, and he asked me to be his girlfriend almost a month ago.
(but, he still tells some people that i am his 'friend'.)
yeah, that alone rips out veins from my heart.
asshole.
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Time:3:05 pm.
this is where the ship wrecks,
heart being spilled into the marble halls;
minced through open veins.
"a lady cried for solace," said the captain;
strength, what she started with.
black, all ends.
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